Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I Need To Be Harder On Myself!

First off, let me start this out by thanking everyone that read this blog! And all the wonderful comments! You guys are awesome! I was teary-eyed as I read through them. I'm glad I'm the only one that sees me as disgusting. lol At least I don't secretly look like a gross blob and no one tell me! lol

And here's an update on me. I was going to sit down and type one out yesterday, but it ended up being a tad busier than expected, plus I spent most the night setting up my new computer.

Monday - Went great! I stayed exactly on points. Unfortunately I didn't get in any exercise (unless you count walking around SIUE campus?!), but all in all I felt great about this day. I wasn't that hungry that day. I got the afternoon munchies but was able to fight them off by being extremely busy. (It was one of those days where if it could go wrong, it did.) Also, I was very excited to find that my Eris has a Weight Watchers Diary app, so I'm trying that out instead of computer diarying. (is that a word?!) I was really really really slacking on the computer food journals, which was a big part of my prob. Lets see if I do better with my phone!

Tuesday - This is the day that my title is in reference to. The day started out well, balanced breakfast, 30 min workout on the Wii Fit, and even a decent lunch (I suppose there could have been a better choice than fries with my Jimmy John's leftovers, but they were made at home, not fast food fries!). Afternoon snacking rolled around and I was pretty hungry. I paced the kitchen for a good 30 mins (and cleaning it too... that's what you have to do when you have 4 kids.. lol) before I decided to be a good girl and eat an Oreo Cakester 100 cal pack. They were ok, but dry, leaving me not that satisfied. Later on in the afternoon, I went back into the kitchen to get chicken out for dinner, next thing I realize, I'm fist deep in a bag of chocolate animal crackers. They were good, don't get me wrong, but I let myself slide on that slip up... I didn't add it in my food diary (maybe putting it here will make me feel more guilty!). Dinner was good, but it put me above my daily points. I'm not eating my exercise points intensionally.... so all my overage goes off my weekly points. Then, I had a moment of weakness.... I caved... I ate a Milky Way. I couldn't help it. I needed chocolate and that seemed to be the perfect source for the taste I craved. Which it was... but that tacked on 6 extra points for the day. Then (gulp, I can't believe I'm going to admit this because I'm ashamed of it too) I went back in the kitchen and ate another piece of quesidilla from dinner. All told my little evening antics put me over 15 points. I have 20 left to last through Sunday, so I better watch myself closer. I need to crack down and not bend to the will of food... especially sweets.

Another thing I need to crack down on is exercise. I did good yesterday, but Monday I found it easier to say I'd do it later than actually just get down and do it. Today, in my wee hours of waking and not wanting to do anything today, I contemplated just behaving on food and skipping exercise. Even as I sit, I occasionally try to make up the excuse that my back is hurting, so I can't work out. When in reality, I know that some yoga would probably be awesome for my sore back right now. I'll probably get on the Wii Fit after this post, because I need to. Then as I get into it, I won't want to stop. Funny how that works. Maybe we should take a family walk tonight too. Then I can boost my exercise today!

All in all, I really shouldn't complain about myself too much. Weak moments happen to all of us. When you fall off the horse, you just gotta climb back on, right?! I just need to keep trying and trying hard... and work on my will power.

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